Signs of harm

Exploitation is where an individual or group takes advantage of an imbalance of power to coerce, manipulate and deceive a child or young person under the age of 18 into either criminal or sexual activity (child sexual exploitation, CSE or child criminal exploitation, CCE).

Child sexual exploitation is a form of sexual abuse.

Child criminal exploitation tends to be for the financial advantage of the perpetrator/facilitator.

What are the signs of exploitation?

• Missing episodes
• Returning home with gifts
• Bruises and cuts
• Older friends/partners
• Multiple phones
• Change in behaviour/character
• A decrease in school attendance.

Please feel encouraged to speak openly to family members or professionals to ensure your safety is paramount.

It is not your fault

If you suspect yourself, friends or family members to be involved in child criminal or sexual exploitation then please contact the police on 999 (for an emergency) or 101. Subsequently, you can report this anonymously online at www.fearless.org.

Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them. Children and young people who are groomed can be sexually abused, exploited or trafficked (trafficking is the trade of humans for the purpose of forced labour, sexual slavery, or commercial sexual exploitation for the trafficker or others).

What are the signs of grooming?

• Secretive behaviour online
• Change in behaviour/character
• Distant from family
• Missing episodes
• Attending parties
• Persistent online activity
• Returning home with gifts that are unexplained or too expensive for them to buy
• Unexplained sexualised behaviour

Anyone can be groomed, either face-to-face or online...Stay safe

It is important that you report any suspected grooming to police by calling 999 (for emergencies) or 101 to ensure that this is dealt with legally.

If you require further information regarding grooming, please head to www.nspcc.org.uk.

You can report possible grooming via CEOP.

County Lines or 'going county' is the name given to a tactic used by drug gangs. Gangs look to move their drug dealing outside of their normal operating area in order to establish themselves as the main dealers in a new area, usually a seaside town or market town outside a big city like Birmingham. In order to establish themselves these gangs often use violence, exploiting local vulnerable people (young and old) to carry it out.

What are the signs of County Lines?

• Missing episodes
• Unexplained gifts
• Multiple phones
• Decreased school attendance

Say 'NO' to drugs!

Cuckooing is the taking over of a vulnerable person's home to use and sell illegal drugs from for a short period of time. The individual may have a mental/physical illness or may be promised free drugs in exchange for their house.

If you would like further information about County Lines then please visit www.childline.org.uk or call Childline on 0800 1111.

If you suspect yourself, friends, or family members to be involved in county lines or the dealing of drugs then please contact the police on 999 (for emergencies) or 101. Subsequently, you can report drug runs or gang members anonymously at www.fearless.org.

Peer pressure is when your friends and peers control and dictate your day-to-day decision-making. This can be positive and in your best interests; however, it can also be negative. Negative peer pressure can lead to you doing things you may not want to do, such as engage in substance misuse or fights and altercations. You do not have to do things just because it 'makes you cool' with your friends. If it makes you feel uncomfortable or scared, just say 'no'.

Four ways to say 'no':

1. Say it with confidence. It is important to be assertive in situations that make you uneasy and uncomfortable, such as being peer pressured to miss school or shoplift.
2. Walk away. If a situation does not serve you in any purpose remove yourself from the situation. This may be easier said than done. However, will benefit you in the future.
3. Spend time with friends who respect you. It is important to associate with people who are respectful when you say 'no'. This is because 'no means no'.
4. Suggest doing something different. Try using your voice and actions for good and encourage positive interventions such as paying for clothes instead of stealing them.

You have control!

If you are worried that you are being pressured to do something by your friends or peers then speak to a trusted family member or professional such as a teacher, football coach or social worker, or call Childline on 0800 1111.

Please be encouraged to speak about your feelings and emotions

Bereavement affects people in different ways. There's no right or wrong way to feel. The death of a loved one can be devastating. Talking and sharing your feelings with someone can help. Don't go through this alone. For some people relying on family and friends is the best way to cope.

But if you don't feel you can talk to them much - perhaps you aren't close or they're grieving too - you can contact local bereavement services through:

• Your local hospice
• The National Cruse helpline on 0808 808 1677 or online at www.crusebirmingham.co.uk
• Your GP.

There are also a number of organisations available for those living with a child with a terminal illness, who can help families prepare for bereavement. Organisations such as Childhood Bereavement Network and Child Bereavement UK encourage young people and families to seek support and ask questions regarding the bereavement and grief process; they also provide hope for the future.

Child Bereavement UK helpline - 0800 028 8840.

Carrying a knife can mean five years in prison, even if you don't use it!

If someone asks you to carry a knife for them it is really important you say 'no'. If someone really cared about you they would not ask you to carry/hold a weapon and so run the high risk of being caught by Police, injury or even death.

Knives can not only seriously injure people but they can also kill them. If you are worried about your own safety or feel you need to carry a knife for protection then please seek help from professionals such as Police, social workers, youth workers, family support workers, a football coach or teacher for example. As a parent, you have a duty of care to pass this information to relevant services such as the Police to help protect your child, and others, from harm.

For more information around knife crime please visit www.noknivesbetterlives.com.

If you suspect someone of carrying a knife, please contact the Police on either 999 (emergencies) or 101. Or you can report this anonymously at www.fearless.org.

Who can I talk to?

• The Missing charity is a free 24/7 confidential service which you can ring or text on 116000
• The Police (101, or 999 in an emergency)
• A trusted adult or professional - this could be a support worker, social worker, sports coach or youth worker.

What should I do if I am missing?

• Try to find out where you are. Make contact with the Police, the Missing charity or a trusted adult. Tell them where you are
• If you are unsure where you are, look for street signs or landmarks that may be able to help people locate you
• If you have no means of contacting someone, go to a local police station, supermarket or youth centre where there will be people who will help keep you safe.

Going missing can put you at risk of danger. It is important that a parent or carer knows your whereabouts to ensure your safety.

To prevent yourself from going missing - ensure your parent or carer knows where you are and what time you are planning to be home. If you are running late, make contact with them so they are aware of your whereabouts and when you will be returning home.

Definition of 'missing': absent from a place, especially the home, whereabouts unknown.

What should do if my child goes missing?

Try to contact the young person, their friends or family.

Contact your local police authority, call 101 or 999 in an emergency.

You do not have to wait 24 hours before contacting the police.

The police may ask you:

• for their photograph
• details of their friends or relatives
• details of places the person often visits
• whether they have a medical condition
• for a sample of their DNA. For example, from a toothbrush.

Who can I talk to? 

Missing charity is a free 24/7 confidential service which you can ring/text on 116000.

Communicating with your child can be difficult, especially if you have concerns about their well-being.

What can I do?

Be available for your children - notice times they may want to talk; find time each week for a one-to-one activity, initiate a conversation with them.

Let them know you are listening - stop what you are doing and listen, express an interest in what they are saying and let them finish before you respond.

Children learn by imitating; they will often follow your lead and copy how they see you deal with situations. For example, how you deal with anger, problems and so on.

How you feel is important too!

Ensure you have space and time for yourself - listen to music, exercise, give yourself time to think about how you are feeling and, if possible, find someone that you can talk to.

Where can I get help?

Relate can provide family counselling and advice: www.relate.org.uk.

The Birmingham Community Healthcare NHS Website has some useful information for children and young people.

Steps to consider when you are in the community and how to keep safe:

1. Ensure you know where you are going and how you are going to get home again - have you got enough money? Do you know the route?
2. Make sure you have a parent or carers phone number, and ensure they know where you are and who you are with
3. Make sure you have your battery charged on your phone and a way to contact someone in an emergency
4. Consider who you are going out with. Do you trust them? Are they safe people?
5. Stay in a well-lit area
6. Do not take lifts from people you do not know.

Make sure a safe, trusted adult knows where you are.

If you are worried about you or your child's safety when in the community:

• Call the police on 101 or 999 in an emergency
• Parents - try and contact friends/known associates who may be with the young person
• Young person - make contact with your parents/carers/trusted adult

Self-harm is when somebody intentionally damages or injures their body. It's usually a way of coping with or expressing overwhelming emotional distress.

How else can I manage?

Coping strategies: 10-minute rule - see if you can put off self-harming for 10 minutes, this may reduce the urge to self-harm. Listen to music, create a well-being box and put things you enjoy in it, write a diary about your emotions, stop and think about how you are feeling.

Speak to someone. Speak to someone you trust, this could be a friend, a family member, a support worker, a teacher at school, a youth worker or a sports coach.

You can also speak to your doctor who can signpost you to another local service that can offer you support.

Samaritans - call 116 123 (open 24 hours a day)

Childline - call 0800 1111 for free confidential support.

Useful Resources:

Calm Harmand Self-Heal are both mobile apps that provide tasks to help you resist or manage your self-harm.

Self-harm is when somebody intentionally damages or injures their body. It's usually a way of coping with or expressing overwhelming emotional distress.

Why do people self-harm?

Self-harm isn't usually a suicide attempt or a cry for attention. Instead, it's often a way for young people to release overwhelming emotions. It's a way of coping. So whatever the reason, it should be taken seriously.

How do I know if my child is self-harming?

Physical signs of self-harm: Cuts, bruises, burns, bald patches of hair. Young people who self-harm are also very likely to keep themselves covered up in long-sleeved clothes, even when it's really hot.

Emotional signs of self-harm: Tearfulness and low motivation, becoming withdrawn and isolated; for example, wanting to be alone in their bedroom for long periods, unusual eating habits, sudden weight loss or gain, low self-esteem and self-blame, drinking or taking drugs.

The emotional signs are harder to spot and don't necessarily mean that a young person is self-harming. But if you see any of these, as well as any of the physical signs, then there may be cause for concern.

What should I do?

Speak to them about their change in behaviour. Do not demand to see their injuries, they may not know why they are self-harming, so try to speak to them about their emotions. Reassure them you will support them and do not tell them off for self-harming; it is their way of dealing with their emotions. If you remove anything they could hurt themselves with, the young person may find something else that could cause them more severe injuries, and although this may feel uncomfortable, the young person could feel comfortable knowing their object to self-harm is close by.

For more information and support visit: www.selfharm.co.uk

Knowing how to keep safe online is important for young people and their parents/carers. Here are some things to be aware of:

Make sure you know who you are speaking to - do you really know this person? How can they prove who they are?

As a parent, it is important to monitor your child's online profiles, who they are talking to and what they are looking at - seek advice on parental controls at: www.saferinternet.org.uk.

Do not give out your personal details to a stranger; you do not know who could end up sharing this information.

If something has worried you, learn how to report an account for each app/website.

Speak to someone you trust if you are worried about something that has happened online, this could be: a parent, a friend, an adult at school/college, a support worker or youth worker. They will be able to advise on what you can do.

You can anonymously and confidentially report child sexual abuse content and non-photographic child sexual abuse images here: www.iwf.org.uk

For more information and advice visit: www.nspcc.org.uk.