An autism diagnosis can be a big step for both you and your child. Coming to terms with it and understanding what it means for their daily life can take some time. You might be wondering how to tell your child they have autism, but you can approach it in a positive, supportive way.
Tips on how to tell your child they have autism:
Approach the conversation in an age-appropriate way
A child under 10 will need a different approach than a teenager, for example. Aim to use language that is within their understanding, and remember that regardless of their age, they may be upset or confused at first and need your reassurance and comfort that everything will be okay.
Talk about autism positively
Even if you feel overwhelmed or stressed as a parent about their diagnosis, frame their autism in a positive or neutral way. One key way you could do this would be to describe it as meaning that their brain operates differently.
Highlight their strengths
This is another great way to frame it positively. For example, you could point out how excellent their memory is, or how much knowledge they have about a favourite subject, and how those are traits of their autism.
Talk about challenges as differences
If your child becomes overwhelmed or has meltdowns in certain situations, talk about how their brain has different needs. For example, if your child becomes overwhelmed by loud noises and busy places, you could say 'sometimes our brains find the noise and people too much, so we need to find a quiet place and relax.'
Give them time to process
Even with your support and reassurance your child will need time to get to grips with understanding their autism fully, and how they feel about it. They may be worried, wonder what it means or how things might change.
Keep a continuous conversation going
Don't stop talking about their autism after the initial conversation- keep the lines of communication open, and check in with them over time. They might come to you with questions or concerns. You can also work out ways to manage things they find difficult together.
As they get older they might identify new challenges either at home or at school, which you can support them with.
Encourage them to build their sense of identity
Finding out that you are neurodivergent as a child might be overwhelming. Help your child recognise all the different parts of themselves and avoid focussing on their autism by encouraging them in their hobbies and interests and getting involved.
Show your support by providing them with what they need
Whether it's noise cancelling headphones, fidget toys or a quiet place they can unwind in your house, look to provide your child with the tools they need to make their life easier.
Share their diagnosis with their school or nursery
You can do this by speaking to the school's SENCO and creating a plan together for how the school will support them. We have free printable sensory and one-page profiles available in our SEND resources which can assist with this.
