ADHD masking at school

Children with ADHD often face challenges at school and attempt to 'mask' their symptoms in a bid to blend in. ADHD masking at school is common, but it's difficult to keep up and can lead to further difficulties. 

What is masking in ADHD?

ADHD masking is when someone with ADHD tries to hide their symptoms in order to avoid social stigma, and appear the same as their peers. Some examples of this include:

• Trying to avoid fidgeting or moving around- a common ADHD behaviour
• Rehearsing what to say to others before speaking, or trying to hold back on speaking
• Being hyper-vigilant about social cues, trying to act like their peers, or trying to avoid appearing 'different'
• Adopting roles, such as 'class clown' to deflect attention from their academic ability. 

Masking can be either a conscious choice or sub-conscious, but it is driven by a fear of judgement, anxiety about being told off or a feeling of shame. 

How is masking detrimental to children?

While the intention of masking is for the child's benefit, it can lead to a number of issues, including:

• Burnout. Attempting to mask their natural responses, behaviour and personality can be exhausting for children, plus it reinforces the idea that they must always hide their true selves socially.
• Worsening mental health. Masking can lead to increased anxiety, low self-confidence and depression.
• Not receiving the support and reasonable adjustments that they need. When a child masks, school staff can struggle to recognise opportunities to support them.
• Affected school performance. When a child doesn't receive the appropriate support and adjustments, they may struggle to absorb what they are taught at school, and perform less well as a result. 

How can I support my child?

There are a number of ways you can help your child with masking and supporting their learning:

Ensure that home is their safe space

Children should not be told to stop masking, as it's a natural response to stressful social situations and an attempt to cope. 

Instead, you can help your child feel safe to be his or herself at home, which over time can help them feel more confident to be themselves at school.

Provide them with tools that they may find useful, such as fidget toys or headphones, and designate somewhere calm that they can relax when they need to. Encourage your child to stim- fidget, rock, or jump around as they wish!

ADHD can lead to big feelings sometimes, which can manifest as explosive meltdowns or angry behaviour. This is normal and you can help support your child by giving them time to calm down and listen to how they feel. 

Encourage them to be their true selves with their family and help nurture their hobbies and interests. 

Praise is important

Praising your child provides them with a confidence boost. Look for little things to praise them for, such as being kind or making an effort on a task. Praise helps build their self-esteem and recognise their strengths. 

Open discussions

Talking about what your child finds difficult about their ADHD can help them feel seen and understood. It also provides them with an outlet to talk about it when they need to. 

If you haven't already done so, you can talk about ADHD symptoms together, and which ones they recognise in themselves. Help them to acknowledge their needs and find ways to meet those needs in a way that feels comfortable for them. 

Working with the school

If your child has an ADHD diagnosis or you suspect they have ADHD, get in touch with the school SENCO to arrange a time to talk. They can create a plan of support for your child at school, which will help them find school life easier and learn in a way that works for them. 

As the parent you can be instrumental in helping the school understand your child, by notifying them of their masking behaviours and what their needs are. This plan should be reviewed over time to ensure it still supports your child adequately. 

The government is currently in the process of investing in extra support for neurodiverse children, which builds upon the current system in place to meet each child's needs with more school staff awareness and specialist help where necessary.