Parental burnout: what you can do to feel better

Are you juggling work, kids, finances and your relationship and feeling overwhelmed? You're not alone. For most parents, the busy pace of modern life feels like too much at times and can easily lead to parental burnout. 

What are the parental burnout symptoms?

While it might be tempting to plough on with daily life, make sure you check in with yourself from time to time and see how you're feeling- you matter too! 

If you notice any of the following:

• feeling exhausted, either physically, emotionally or both
• feeling overwhelmed, or like you've had enough of parenting
• feeling somewhat detached from your children
• feeling like a 'bad parent' or that you are failing

then chances are you are experiencing burnout. 

How to deal with burnout

If you're a burnt out mum or dad, you may be feeling like things can't get better. However, recognising how you're feeling is the first step to making improvements in your life. 

It's important to also acknowledge that taking the time to care for yourself has positive benefits for the rest of the family. In the same way that parents must put on their own oxygen masks on a plane before tending to their children, you must ensure that your wellbeing is in a healthy place day to day. 

Here are some simple ways to feel better amidst parenting burnout:

Treat self care as a necessity rather than a luxury 

Self care doesn't mean expensive massages or a whole day away from the kids. Even 30 minutes a day of quiet and time spent on soul-nourishing activities can pay dividends. Whether for you that means having a bubble bath, reading a book quietly or going for a run, carve out those regular opportunities, and arrange with your partner time for you both to have some headspace. 

Find little moments

Between those times for headspace, aim to grab moments of peace amidst the chaos. Kids playing in the garden? Make yourself a cup of tea and take some deep breaths for a few minutes. Walking in the woods with the family? Take a moment to enjoy the sounds of the leaves underfoot and the breeze through the trees. Aim to look for the positive, peaceful moments every day and take them in. 

Reflect on what you do well

Instead of beating yourself up and feeling like you're failing, consider what you've done well in parenting lately. Did you console your child when they were upset? Get them off to school on time? Make them a healthy lunch? Don't underestimate the importance of those little things- they are the keys to your child feeling loved and cared for. Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. 

Make a list- and delegate!

It can be too easy sometimes to go on parenting autopilot and take too much on. To avoid burnout make regular lists of everything that needs doing, from bills being paid to the bathroom being cleaned. Ensure that everyone in the household is doing their bit to support you, even the kids. Teaching children to be responsible for keeping their rooms tidy and put their toys away is an early way to learn about helping others. Older children can complete household chores to help mum and dad out, or to earn pocket money. Make sure that everyone helps out and supports each other. 

Be aware of the effects of social media

The pressures of social media extend to adults, not just young people. Without us realising, being exposed to too much mental stimulation and 'noise' can add to the burnout. Certain platforms can make adults feel low, too. Try ditching Instagram and TikTok for a few days and see if you're a little more relaxed. Influencers can make even the most confident adult feel like they aren't doing well 'enough'- whether that be regarding career, home, as a parent or in life in general. Remove the apps and remove the noise from your life.

Don't be afraid to ask for help

You know your mind best, and if you feel like you're struggling there are services that can help. Talk to your GP, or find out about our counselling services.