Being a parent with ADHD can be a real challenge. Symptoms like lack of focus, feeling overwhelmed and inattention can make an already difficult job much harder.
Plus, there's a good chance that if you have ADHD your child may have it too- adding to the challenges you face.
Life as a parent with ADHD
Staying on top of a child/ teenager when you have ADHD can be tricky- not only do children require a lot of attention, but also patience. Plus, organising their lives- doing the school runs, planning for school events, organising medical appointments, homework and packing bags- can be taxing.
If you feel burnt out you are not alone. Look to find pockets of time to relax and recharge, by getting some exercise or taking time for you. Try one of our short mindfulness videos like the box breathing technique.
Remember that a lot of the time you are parenting on hard mode, so be gentle and kind with yourself.
Tips for parenting when you have ADHD
Use tools for organisation
Organisation can be really tricky when you have ADHD. Try sticking a weekly family planner on the fridge, which clearly shows day by day what you need to remember and when. When your child reaches teenager age they can use it too.
Your phone can also come in handy for organisation- set reminders for things you need to do, or use your calendar app.
Lists are your friend, too. Keep a notepad in the kitchen at all times to scribble down reminders or additions to the shopping list.
1-1 time with your child
During a busy life with lots of distractions it can be hard to spend quality time with your child. Create a routine where you get to spend some time with them- ideally daily if possible. What you do together during that time can be anything- you might choose to watch a film together on the sofa, go to a cafe, or help them finish a puzzle. Aim to get involved in their life and what they enjoy doing; it helps you bond on a deeper level.
Try background noise
If you struggle to stay focused when with your child- for example while joining them in doing Lego or Play Doh- try using some background noise. You could let the radio play, or use a favourite playlist. It can be surprisingly useful in helping your mind stay present.
Aim to be consistent
Regulating your emotions can be very difficult when you have ADHD. And, when your child or teen acts out or upsets you it might be hard to not react emotionally or angrily. As much as you can, aim to stay consistent with your reactions to boundaries being crossed, and keep in mind that as the old saying goes, this too shall pass.
Take a breather
In order to avoid overwhelm, schedule time when you can switch off from being a parent for a while. Try to get your child involved in clubs at school, or trying out sports clubs, or having play dates with friends. This can take the pressure off you for a while and give you some much needed breathing room.
Delegate
Organising a home and being a parent can be a lot. Try to delegate jobs where you can, either by asking your partner to help, or getting your child to do some chores around the house. Pocket money or a small treat can be a great motivator- putting a chart on the fridge helps them see their progress.
Get support
If you're feeling like you're struggling as a parent, there is support available to help. If you are currently unmedicated, you could talk to your GP about starting the titration process. Your GP can also advise you on what behavioural therapy help there may be locally available. If you feel that you would like some support with parenting, find out more about our Family Support Service.
