Bullying at school

Bullying at school is a nationwide problem and a fifth of all pupils experience it. It's difficult for parents to feel in control of bullying that's happening at school, but there are a variety of ways you can help and support your child.

Know where you stand

Firstly, find out what the law says on bullying. Some methods of bullying including assault and intimidation are illegal. Take a look at this helpful Gov.uk site for further information. 

Knowing the law can help you ensure your child's school takes the bullying seriously.

Talking about the bullying

When you first discover the bullying, listen to your child and find out what's been happening. They might be afraid to tell you everything for fear of repercussions. Approach the conversation calmly and be led by them. Bullying can be humiliating and upsetting, so it might take them time to open up. 

Reassure them that you're there to help and that together you will tackle the problem. 

Gather the evidence

With your child's help, make notes of all the incidents that have taken place, including dates and times if possible. Also take screen grabs of any bullying messages to show the school. For more information on cyber-bullying, click here. 

Contact the school as soon as possible

Schools have a duty of care for the wellbeing and safety of students, and will have a bullying policy set in place. Get in touch and ask to speak to someone as soon as possible about what's been happening, and share with them all the details. 

Even if the bullying is happening outside of school or digitally, report it to them. Inform them of the effect it's having on your child and ask what steps they will take to address the problem. 

If the bullying carries on

Continue keeping note of all incidents and follow the school bullying policy to make sure next steps are adhered to. 

How to support your child with school bullying

The most important thing you can do to support a child who is being bullied is to listen to them and be there to support them. Give them time to tell you everything, and keep in mind that being bullied can be embarrassing and make them feel ashamed. 

Here are some other ways you can help:

Spend time together

Make time in your schedule to spend uninterrupted 1-1 time together daily. This helps strengthen your bond and makes your child feel supported and loved, which is especially important when they're having a difficult time at school. 

Try and do what they would like during 1-1 time. If they're playing or enjoying an activity, let them carry on and just be with them or join in. Older children might like to do something like go for a hot chocolate with you, or go for a drive somewhere. 

Help them express their feelings

Experiencing bullying can cause a number of negative feelings to arise. In order to give them a release and help them learn to manage their emotions, try to help them express themselves. 

Your child could try writing down how they're feeling in a journal every day, or try drawing. 

Find ways to calm

There are a number of ways to help children and teens feel more relaxed. Encourage them to try some strategies to find what works for them. Take a look at our box breathing meditation video or help your child make a self-soothe box. 

Encourage them to try new things

Bullying can wear away at a child's self esteem. Help them find strength and confidence through new interests, hobbies and groups. They could try sports clubs either in or outside of school, or have a go at a new hobby at home. There may also be local youth clubs or activity groups that your child might also like to try.