Watching your child experience anxiety is tough. Helping a child with anxiety is possible though; our parenting team provides some great advice below.
Managing anxiety in children
‘As a parent it is incredibly hard watching your child go through such sad, overwhelming issues,’ says Leonie Vickers, Family Support Worker. ‘As a child I suffered with anxiety myself and remember the crippling stomach cramps I had when a change was occurring, the pounding heartbeat that was so strong it was deafening.’
For an adult sufferer, the cause of anxiety might be clear, but trying to figure out your child’s can be a challenge. Leonie eventually tried a Spurgeons’ Parent Support Group, and found strategies to cope. ‘The support from the other mums in the group has been immense,’ she says.
Leonie found that spraying her daughter’s room with lavender and clearing a lot of toys from her room helped.
Find out more about our Parent Support Groups here.
How to help an anxious child- tips
Our Parent Support Lead Nicola Baldwin has provided the following tips for strategies to support your child:
Create ‘worry time’ every day
‘It’s best for it not to do this before bed if possible, but either way provide time each day that is allocated for you to discuss with them any concerns, and suggest solution-building ideas,’ suggests Nicola.
Talk to the school
Nicola suggests it’s helpful to let your child’s school know that they have anxiety, and also make sure you’re notified before any changes happen so you can prepare your child- e.g. school events etc.
Stick a timetable up
A timetable of what is happening on school days and weekends pinned up on the fridge will provide your child with prior warning of events so that they know what’s coming. You can also do the same for their daily routine- everything from getting dressed to eating lunch.
Acknowledge and validate their feelings
‘Take their anxieties as real,’ advises Nicola, ‘Even if they seem silly things- it might be a friendship group or a certain teacher.’ You can address these issues with the school and talk about what makes a good friend at home.
Try some practical anxiety-management strategies
Helping a child with anxiety can be made easier with out free, helpful downloads. Follow our instructions on how to make a self-soothe box, or if your child has persistent upsetting thoughts you can try our guide to managing intrusive thoughts. Alternatively, our wellbeing plan helps your child identify what helps them feel better.
Encourage regular deep, calming breathing
Play our rainbow breathing video and ask your child to follow along for instant calm. They can also try our finger breathing video.
Allow for chill-out time after school
While it’s tempting to gather information on the school day as soon as they come home, give them a breather first. ‘When they arrive, greet them with a ‘how are you, I missed you!’’ says Nicola. ‘Rather than grilling them immediately, allow them to decompress first.’
Talk about feelings
Everybody gets anxious from time to time and that’s ok. It’s important to normalise these emotions for children to show them that they don’t have to feel scared when these feelings arise.
To help your child understand what is going on for them, talk through what their worries are. Don’t dismiss their worry, no matter how trivial you think it might be.
If your child’s worries persist our Spurgeons counsellors are ready to help.
