Does your teenager sometimes drive you crazy? You're not alone. If you're often battling with a difficult teenager, understanding the biological reasons behind teenage behaviour can help. 

Parenting teenagers

Being the parent of a teenager can be challenging at times. You might find their behaviour upsetting, stressful and concerning. However, in most cases what you're witnessing is a normal part of growing up. 

Hormones and changes in the brain are behind a lot of your teen's everyday behaviour. The short video below explains how:

Supporting your teen 

There are ways that you can support your teenager through these years of development. Some great strategies include:

  • Asking what physical feelings they are experiencing
  • Acknowledging their emotions- e.g. ‘I can see you’re feeling angry, is there anything I can help you with?’
  • Offering yourself as someone your teen can always come to
  • Responding with a non-judgemental, compassionate ear
  • If they’re overwhelmed, help them respond to struggles by making a plan of action. 

When they feel heard and understood they can manage their feelings better. 

Teenagers also benefit from pockets of time spent with you 1-1. During this time chat to them about whatever they would like to talk about. Aim to show an interest in their world and listen to their worries and opinions. You could spend 1-1 time together at home, during an outing (like going for a coffee), or while driving somewhere. 

Changes in teenage behaviour

You're likely to see changes in how your child behaves during their teen years. They may be less affectionate with you, seem more aloof or want more time alone. They might sometimes seem moody, too. 

Try to remember that the teenage years can be difficult for them as well as you, and that the changes in their hormones and brain are causing most of the behaviour. 

Four teenagers are sitting together. A teenage boy looks into the camera

At what age do teenage mood swings stop?

Mood swings in young people typically ease between the ages of 18 and their early 20s. For more about teenage mood swings click here. 

Coping with teenage behaviour

Ensure that you look after yourself as well as trying to be a good parent to your teenager. Make time for yourself as much as possible, to relax or do things that you enjoy. Talking to other parents about what you're going through can help you recognise that what you're experiencing is normal, and they may be able to give you helpful advice. 

For more tips on dealing with stress and anxiety as a parent, click here. 

Parenting a teenager- top tips

  • Create rules and boundaries and stick to them. You can even create a list and stick it up as a reminder. Your rules and boundaries might include things like 'I must be home before 8pm' or 'I tidy up my room and keep it clean'.
  • If a rule is broken then keep the consequences appropriate. For example, if you child isn't home by the agreed time then they must come home earlier the next night.
  • Recognise that teenagers learn from making mistakes.
  • Keep the lines of communication constantly open. Support them with their worries even if they seem minor from an adult point of view.  
  • Deal with important issues head on and with sensitivity, for example having a conversation about birth control or underage drinking.
  • Remember they will want more space and seem more separate from you, but this is part of becoming their own person and having independence.