Teenagers can be trying at times. If you're struggling it can be useful to try some teenage behaviour management strategies.
Why are teenagers so challenging?
Teenagers are going through major changes to their brains and hormones which cause changes to behaviour and temperament.
To find out more about how the teen brain works and the reasons for teenage attitude and behaviour click here.
Teenage behaviour management strategies:
Effective instructions
Sometimes asking your teen to do something doesn't result in the desired outcome. Being specific with what you're asking of them can be helpful. So, for example, instead of saying 'please can you tidy your room?', you could be more detailed in your request, by saying 'please can you hang your clothes up and make your bed?'
This provides them with more chance of success as they know exactly what is being asked of them.
Praise
It's important for teens to hear praise. It helps bring balance to the times when you're asking them to do things, or telling them off! Look for opportunities to praise them, and be sure to recognise effort and not just achievement. Telling them well done for concentrating hard on a homework or helping make dinner is just as important as celebrating success in a test.
Boundaries
Boundaries are helpful so that teenagers know what is expected of them ahead of time. You can create house rules so that your child understands what they must always do- for example, you could create the house rule 'I must be home before it gets dark'.
Other house rules you could make include:
- tidying up after themselves
- helping clear up after dinner
- telling you where they are going before they leave home
- doing their homework before watching tv.
Pick your battles
There may sometimes be days where you feel like you're having to moan at your teen a lot or repeatedly remind them of things. In a bid to keep a positive feeling in the house and between you, sometimes it can help to pick your battles, and let some of the smaller things go.
Compromise
Another strategy is to compromise on things. For example, if your teen wants to attend a party that goes on until very late, you could compromise and say they can go, but that you will pick them up at 11pm. This means they are allowed some freedom, but within a boundary you're comfortable with.
Communication and listening
Things can easily become fractious when living with a hormonal teenager. However, if the bond between you is strong and you maintain good communication it can help.
Ensure you listen to your teenager's feelings, worries and concerns, and avoid dismissing them, even if you disagree. If you're having a discussion about something you disagree with them on, be respectful of their feelings on it.
Spend quality time together
Teens can seem aloof and separate from their parents at times- it's a normal part of becoming more independent and growing up. They still need you though, and maintaining your relationship is vital. Aim to spend time together just the two of you, whether that means chatting about your day every evening, talking while driving somewhere, enjoying a day out or having family meals together.
Keeping your bond strong means that they will feel they can talk to you and come to you about things.
